Top of the World

I'm listening to this song right now, Patty Griffin's "Top of the World." Its so sweet and I just want to put it on repeat here at work! Here's some of the lyrics, but go here to listen to it online:
Myspace Music Discography for Patty Griffin.
The album is "Impossible Dream." Select it from the discography list in the left section of the player.

For writing, read over the lyrics and imagine the scene. What song is being sung by the songbird? Why did she break the songbird's wings? What would you do? What kind of bird? What are others doing, wanting, singing?

"Top Of The World"

There's a whole lot of singing
That's never gonna be heard
Disappearing every day
Without so much as a word
Somehow

I think I broke the wings
Off that little songbird
And she's never gonna fly
To the top of the world now
To the top of the world

....

I wished I'd had known you
Wished I had shown you
All of the things I
Was on the side
But I'd pretend to be sleeping
When you'd come in in the morning
To whisper goodbye
Go work in the rain
I don't know why
Don't know why

Cause everyone's singing
We just wanna be heard
Disappearing every day
Without so much as a word
Somehow?

Gonna grab a hold
Of that little songbird
And take her for a ride
To the top of the world
Right now
To the top of the world

Mudpi Photos and Videos

My friends in Mudpi, an "indie alternative folk Americana rock" band based in Berea, Kentucky, asked me to help promote them online and in town. Knowing about my professional pursuits, they do not want distance to be a hindrance. So I have been updating Mudpi's myspace page with photos and videos. I wish my little camera wasn't so exhausted but it helps the little bit it can.

This past weekend I shot some video and will upload some of it later this week. The lighting in the coffee shop is not the best but with some adjustments through a video editing program, I have been able to make them a little more manageable. One day I will have digital video that is clear and precise!

The plan is that sometime very soon when the four of them can get together for a photo shoot, I will take some individual and band shots for use on the website, flyers, and myspace.

Sufjan Stevens

I have phases with music. Right now I am mostly in a contemplative mood concerning music and composition. I need to sit down with my banjo and play with it some, get comfortable with it more. Just make something up. I am familiar with some basics, but I don't move fast with it. Make up something slow and meadering...

Anyway, recommendation: Sufjan Stevens. Not all his music is on the banjo. It varies greatly. I will link to a few videos I found on Youtube with him performing some songs. I have both the Michigan and Illinoise albums. Will get the rest one day. But I love his music. love.

Sufjan performing "For The Widows In Paradise, For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tkiGvV_ek
Sufjan performing "Casmir Pulaski Day"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdfiXdrmXA8
Video using Sufjan's song "John Wayne Gacy, Jr."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otx49Ko3fxw
Video using Sufjan's song "Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b0fdETmRng

Uncle Earl music video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCFJ3LURCtc

Uncle Earl's music video for "Streak O' Lean, Streak O'Fat."

Emmylou's Deeper Well

I love this song, "Goin' Back to Harlan." I've always known the Emmylou Harris cover, but just recently found the Anna and Kate McGarrigle original. The first video below is of Anna and Kate McGarrigle with Emmylou Harris performing the song with some fiddlers, a banjoist, and others. There's not a video on youtube of just Emmylou Harris performing the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vK7jitvJXI

I also LOVE "Deeper Well." Here's Emmylou's music video which aired on CMT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0QqNtbQulc

"Deeper Well" is an original by David Olney:
Folk Alley Interview
David Olney offical website.

Meet Lydia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xH8nVV_zGk

Old Time Banjo Festival

Stumbled across this online!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUEfwep6wMM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNjnbjv1QNk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRpS0y8uzIA

Sugar Babe on Fretless Banjo

This guy plays the tune "Sugar Babe" on a fretless banjo he made with the help of a friend and Foxfire 3. This is the tune I want to learn on a banjo (with frets). I love this sounds also, though!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVpYTUaNj2o

Videos to learn Clawhammer Banjo

This is awesome!
I will certainly be using this along with DVDs and websites to learn at first.

Land of Confusion

Thought this was an interesting video I found online. Enjoy!

Group Project: Land of Confusion

Video Text Link

Mudpi in July

This Saturday July 28, Main Street Cafe, Berea, KY, around 6 pm.
mudpi's myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/mudpi2
mudpi is Carol ("mud"), Robert ("pi"), and Bassman John

Sarah McLachlan

Earlier today I heard a song by Sarah McLachlan. There's so many memories tied to Sarah's music I cannot pick just one to write about, so I will write about several as I recall them now.


When I was a junior in high school I had a close friend who was a freshman. He and I both loved Sarah's music and its largely him going on and on about her that made me become interested in her albums. So I spied the video for "Possession" on either VH1 or MTV one evening. I was won over. Sarah's intensity of staring into the camera as it filmed her singing the song, pretty much a head shot the entire time, her hair cascading around her. And when I commented on this to James, my freshman friend, he just sighed wistfully remembering the video. Watching the video again now, if it is the one I remembering seeing in 1993, there's not as many shots focused on her looking into the camera as I recall. Memory is interesting like that, extending the parts we liked most and abbreviating the parts we liked least. I also constantly played Sarah's album in my car, when I had a working cassette player in it. I recall driving on one of my favorite roads between the mall and the Barnett Reservoir, a curvy road that wasn't monitored too strictly by policemen but also didn't have any stops. Not a long road, just one good enough for a little while to get away from the busier traffic. I doubt I would enjoy it now as the area is getting swamped with chain stores and office parks.

"Adia" was another song by Sarah McLachlan which wrapped me up into all the lyrics and the way she sang the following:

’Cause we are born innocent.
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent.
It's easy, we all falter.
Does it matter?

I would sing this to myself all the time. Constantly. I cannot sing as high as Sarah, that's for sure, but I imagined I could just enough. At least I didn't torture anyone with my singing. I remember watching a VH1 special in which Sarah's being interviewed and she was asked what the song was about. She mentions her grandmother and their relationship.

Another memory deals with "Angel." I am attending the University of Mississippi after transferring from community college. The dorm I am staying in is a co-ed dorm, or as close to one you might find in Mississippi. The dormitory had two wings, one wing was male, the other female, and both having three floors. This dorm was mostly occupied by graduate, non-traditional, and exchange students. I was working and living there as a resident adviser (RA). After a while I started dating someone, and the opportunity arose the following summer for us to go with a friend to Nashville to Lilith Fair. I was excited because Sarah McLachlan, Natalie Merchant, Liz Phair, Bonnie Raitt, and others were going to be there performing. I bought us tickets to go. It was a great show, even if we were sitting on the hillside and not in the stadium seats close to the stage. I could see a tiny Sarah standing center stage, flowy feminine and in blues and purples. The audience was mostly women, some varying kinds of couples here and there. We stood there together, watching and listening, embraced in a hug, my back to his chest. Later, there were some darker moments during that concert when I was not too pleased with him: his derogatory comments about a car full of women at the gas station, the under-his-breath comment about the lesbian couple I asked to take our picture for us. This was one of the many times I realized our personalities clashed extremely, and it only intensified as the summer months pushed forward till I finally broke it off with a little mental and emotional strength support from a university counselor at the wellness center.

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

Two memories are associated with "I Will Remember You." After Adam and I broke up I listened to the song often because I had learned a lot from that brief relationship. We were in different stages of our lives looking for different things in a relationship. It ended abruptly, but some time after that we became friends again, catching up with each other sporadically. I listened the this song and a lot of Matchbox Twenty after we broke up to deal with the emotions and frustrations I sunk myself into for a time.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Years later I would hear the song one evening when driving to Lexington, Kentucky to see Becky. For some reason the lyrics struck a slightly different meaning to me than it had in the past, a very subtle meaning. It felt as if the song was also saying to remember these memories in any relationship, whether in the midst of one or at the end of one. It struck me that I wanted to remember every detail of this relationship, every little moment, be it just sitting around reading together, going to the Kentucky Theatre, having a drink at Mia's, or any other moment that involved us being together, spending time together. I wanted treasure them IN the moment of those memories being created, not just remember them long after they were created. But when I mentioned that the song reminded me of her later that night, and she took it in a "this relationship is ending" interpretation, I could not find a way to accurately express what exactly the song's new meaning revealed to me. I tried as best I could, defensively with emotion caught in my throat, but the damage was done. This was something to support a fear that she'd had all along and there was no way to convince her otherwise.

Meet Me in the Music

Movin' Fiddler, originally uploaded by blueathena7.

Meet Me in the Music. Can there possibly be a better title for an album of old tunes and songs from Kentucky, West Virginia, and Virginia that make you want to dance, wander mountain paths, or enjoy a drink or two at the pub? Part of the enthusiasm comes from the musicians themselves, Erynn Marshall and Chris Coole. Erynn's energetic fiddlin' to songs like "And the Cat Came Back", and "Maggie Meade/The Darker the Night" brings a smile to my face and I can't keep my fingers or toes from tapping along the tune. Chris' own banjo composition "Copper Run" is one that I particularly enjoyed of him playing solo, reminding me of a sunny yet rainy day, listening to raindrops on a tin roof, and feeling good.

One of my favorite songs from this album is "New Orleans." She includes in the linear notes that it is an old war song she learned from Melvin Wine, a well-known West Virginia fiddler. The tune starts with a contemplative banjo melody which opens into the singing of the fiddle's contemplations. Erynn notes that the song is related to "Shady Grove," another song I have much enjoyed.

Another tune which struck a chord with me is "Queen of the Earth, Child of the Skies." After referring to the linear notes once again, I find that it is "a slow march version of a popular Irish tune called 'The Blackbird' that goes even farther back as an English ballad." Again, the West Virginia fiddlers Erynn has learned from has also influenced my taste, since this tune's version hails from Edden Hammons. When I first heard this song I envisioned the Appalachian mountains full of green trees, twisting ivy, tall grasses and wildflowers swaying in a late summer breeze, much like I'd imagine a Queen of Earth would be doing. Meanwhile, in the clouds and on a breeze, a child-like spirit tip-toes from mountaintop to mountaintop in a playful manner, a smiling and happy mountain nymph maybe. I might just make some piece of artwork to attempt to match the beauty of this song.

Two other songs I love on this album are both composed by Kentucky fiddler J.P. Fraley: "Winds of Shiloh" and "Maggie Meade." This "spooky" song, "The Winds of Shiloh", is definitely eerie when heard by a lone fiddle on a late Saturday afternoon as the sun sets in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, like I did one day when we stopped for a visit in Owingsville on our way to a music festival outside Morehead. The added stroll of Chris playing his dreadnought guitar and guest Andrew Downing playing bass gives a "walk through the woods" feel to the tune. Just make sure it is a haunted path you're traveling when you're listening to this song; it just won't feel right otherwise. "Maggie Meade" is a tune I will always remember because I have a clear image, and favorite photo (pictured above), of Erynn recalling a part of the tune as we were driving to Morehead. When I hear this tune I imagine a barmaid working hard, but teasing her patrons as she glides and flirts. Something is mysterious and haunting about her, like one of Odysseus's sirens. At each crooked turn in the tune, a wink, smile, and sly gesture accompanies it as she weaves her spell over the drunken patrons. Then the song segues into "The Darker the Night" which picks up the mood and starts the rowdy party of rough-housing and mischievous follies. It is true, old-time fiddle and banjo tunes strike up my imagination that paints itself continuously as the tune progresses and turns more crooked.
I highly recommend a visit to their website: hickoryjack.com

Also, here's an article link about Erynn and Meet Me in the Music:
Merriweather Records Ltd.: Artist bio and press releases

George Michael

It is 1987. George Michael just released his album Faith. And I have a walkman with a little stash of cassettes to listen to all summer long. I'm 11 years old, summertime between fifth and sixth grades. The sun is bright, blue skies and I love being outdoors. Dad's lawn mowing business is doing well, but all the crews are out mowing lawns. I can walk around with my headphones on by the barn and in the small field of sparse trees, listening to cassettes and singing along without a worry that someone can hear me and complain. I don't have a singing voice but I love to sing. It feels good and it doesn't matter right now because no one is concerned about me. I walk along the dusty dirt and rock drive to the intersection of Route 1 and Old Canton Road. Before crossing, I look both ways and head towards the little A & B Mart and Mr. James. On my headphones George Michael's been singing "'Cause I gotta have faith..." and I'm singing along. Of course I had no clue what the song was really about, but I liked the way George's voice sang and I liked the movement of the composition. And the song felt good.

After buying a Flintstone orange push-pop and my dad's carton of Belair cigarettes (Mr. James already knew these cigarettes were not for me) I walked back, singing along to another George Michael song on the Faith album, "Father Figure."

"I will be your father figure.
Put your tiny hand in mine.
I will be your preacher teacher.
Anything you have in mind.
I will be your father figure.
I have had enough of crime.
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time."

Once again, I had little idea of what the song was about but felt that the song was honest and positive. I liked all the other songs on the album, and especially remembered the video for "Freedom '90." I never noticed the news at the time, but apparently there was some controversy over it. But the controversy was simple and nothing of magnitude: the video was a symbolic breaking away from Michael's ties to his old band, Wham!. He did not appear in the video and several symbols of his past was destroyed in the video: his guitar, jukebox, and leather jacket. But who was in the video? Supermodels lip-syncing to his vocals on the track. I have heard this song again recently in a YouTube video criticizing George W. Bush.

I heard "Father Figure" the other day and remembered in a flash of memory walking on a powder-fine dirt drive to the corner mart for candy, Dad's cigarettes, or just wandering around around the trees in lazy Summertime singing to George Michael's songs. A brief love affair with that album before I moved on to another cassette.

Boys on the Side

After a little searching I found the root of my memory of Joan Armatrading's song, "Willow." It is the movie Boys on the Side. I think I have seen that movie a few times, and just thinking about it now makes me want to watch it again. Too bad I doubt own the DVD.

I know that I had the soundtrack for a while. I might still have it. I played nearly all the songs on it constantly. A mix of artists like that hit a personal string in your being at different times. One day you're driving in your royal blue 1982 Pontiac sedan down Old Canton Road past a "Christmas tree farm" and Strong Road. You round the curve past the lake on either side, large houses with decks overlooking the water. Past houses with peeling paint and rusty cars parked in the dusty and gravely driveways. And Joan is singing,

"I said I'm strong,
Straight,
Willing
To be a shelter
In a storm
Your willow
Oh willow
When the sun is out"

I found other songs by Joan Armatrading and I liked them equally as much, but for some reason I had tied myself emotionally to "Willow" and couldn't create such a fond memory with the other songs. No significant event happened in my life while listening to "Willow." No revelations or epiphanies, at least none that I can recall now. Just a quiet memory of driving one sunny day, either late Spring or early Autumn, probably during my senior year of high school. Since the movie came out in February 1995, maybe I was already contemplating graduation and the responsibilities to follow. It is very possible I was thinking about a classmate who, over Christmas break, had been admitted into a rehabilitation center for his addiction to acid and marijuana. I was concerned for him and hoped he'd get better. I was also concerned for another friend who was worrying herself sick about him. Maybe I wished I could be a willow for my friends, or that we were already willows for each other, sheltering and protecting each other in whatever way we were able. Willow.

4 Non Blondes - Whats Up?

One day in 1993 when I was a junior in high school, I actually listened to the mainstream radio and found a song I really liked. Or maybe I wasn't listening to the radio, but instead was watching VH1 when they actually played music videos like MTV once did. I don't remember the first time I heard the song. I remember hearing it in a music store in Northpark Mall while walking down the aisle by the rock-pop CDs and hearing the music come over the store's speakers. I was in that record store a lot, many times not buying a CD but just having a place to hang out, look at the CD's covers and lists of songs, and know how many albums a particular artist had.
But the song, the one that sang obnoxiously:

"And so I wake in the morning and I step outside,
And I take a deep breath,
And I get real high,
And I scream from the top of my lungs:
What's goin' on?
And I say, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I say hey, what's going on?"

It was an addictive tune: a catchy hook, line and sinker. The energy of 4 Non Blondes was infectious and I found that "What's Up?" became a song playing inside my mind constantly: while taking tests, while walking from one class to another in the busy and crowded halls, and on the ride home when Mom or Dad picked me up after school.

Twelve years later the song would hold another memory instead. I was dating Becky at the time, only two months into a three month relationship. This one evening we had gone out to the restaurant where we'd first met, Mia's. It was a Saturday evening and Betty Dylan was performing on stage like they were when we met in December. I had not eaten much earlier that day, we both had a couple of drinks, and found soon after that a combination of lack of food and Snoopy's stronger-than-usual drinks had made me sick. I had only one drink and felt ill. The bar was crowded and Becky disappeared for a while to the restroom and then closer to the band to hear them better when they sang, "Me and Bobby McGee." That is her favorite song and the lead singer of Betty Dylan does a great cover of it. A few songs later, I realized that she was still sitting up there, oblivious of how much time had passed, so I went to her and said it was time for us to go home; I felt ill. So we left. I got inside just in time to be relieved of feeling ill, and in her absentmindedness Becky put on the stereo another one of her favorite songs, "What's Up?" It was very loud and my head felt like it was suffocating. I was disappointed in her. I went into the living room, looked at her, went to the stereo, turned it off, and said I was going to bed. Afterwards we talked for a long time, nothing making much sense, but sleep came and we both felt better in the morning. Yet, the night before gave me a peek at something that I didn't like. I also decided that I didn't like "What's Up?" or 4 Non Blondes anymore.

Gillian Welch

The first album I bought by Gillian Welch was Revival. I bought it in the used CD store in Oxford, MS, called Uncle Buck's Records. Since the days I lived in Oxford, MS, Uncle Buck's closed and Hot Dog Records opened for a few years before kicking the bucket, too. I loved the slow rocking rhythm of "Pass You By" and the way Gillian sang, her vocals saturating the air, pouring out like molasses, drawing out words to match the melody.

"Don't turn no head, don't catch no eye
Just a wind on the road, gonna pass you by
Don't come over here, Don't scream don't cry
Just a wind on the road, gonna pass you by"

Sometime after I bought Revival, I saw that Gillian and David were coming to Oxford for a gig in Proud Larry's, a bar and restaurant just off the downtown square. This was before the soundtrack for O Brother, Where Art Thou? came out with Gillian singing "I'll Fly Away" with Alison Krauss. This was before she was well known, from what I could determine. The audience was full but not crammed, and the tiny stage was just enough for Gillian and David to play. I stood over to stage-right, near a speaker and the checker-paned windows looking out on the alley. The stage was only one step up, and if I had stood in the back I would not have been able to stare at their fingers on the guitars, banjos, and mandolins. I was fascinated and had forgotten my camera. She sang several songs I knew, and many I had not yet heard.

Some days later, when I was dating someone for several months, I was given the CD Hell Among the Yearlings. The songs here were slower and more mellow than the ones on Revival. It took me a lot longer to like these songs, but eventually I did.

My favorite song, played over and over in my car stereo when I went for a long drive to have time to myself, was "Tear My Stillhouse Down."

"Oh tell all your children
That Hell ain't no dream
'Cause Satan he lives
In my whiskey machine
And in my time of dying
I know where I'm bound
So when I die tear my stillhouse down."

I just loved the way she sang every line of that song, powerful and regretful, mournful of the march drumming behind her last request of tearing the stillhouse down. "Don't leave no trace of the hiding place where we made that evil stuff" just bounces off your tongue; the poetry of the lyrics struck me.

Some time later she and David came back to Oxford for the Double Decker Arts Festival in April. We sat with Organic Blue Sky Raspberry sodas in hand on the balcony of Square Books overlooking the stage and their performance. I don't remember if I had my camera with me this time, but I probably didn't take very many pictures after all. A few years later, on April 24, 2004, I came back to the Festival, making a special trip up from Jackson, MS, to see them perform again. A two year relationship had ended a year earlier and we were meeting to be cordial and try to maintain a friendship. But I disappeared a few times to enjoy the show and to take some pictures from just below the stage, all angled awkwardly. I wanted to stand but nearly all the audience had sat down to enjoy the music.

Much later, after moving to Hattiesburg, MS, for graduate school at USM and settling into an empty apartment with scattered boxes everywhere waiting to be unpacked, I had Gillian's album Soul Journey playing "Lowlands" loudly.

"Oh I've been in the lowlands too long,
Oh, I know, I know that I should go,
And I've been in the lowlands too long"

It was the epitome of being happy to move into my first apartment, a place of my own. Music on constantly, Gillian singing about making a pallet on the floor or Miss Ohio. I read reviews that contradicted with my opinion of the album, criticizing the songs I liked most, and preferring the ones I liked least. I am waiting for Gillian and David to come to Kentucky so I can hear them in their best form, live.

"Ain’t one soul in the whole world knows my name
Ain’t one soul in the whole world knows my name
But I’ll see it by and by cause it’s written up in the sky
Ain’t one soul in the whole world knows my name"

Dionne Warwick

Last night I went to Lexington with some friends and while we were talking we'd notice that all the songs seemed familiar but we couldn't remember who sung them or the titles. But one reminded me of Dionne Warwick and I recalled memories of listening to one of her albums. Maybe it was one my mom had already owned, but most likely I wanted it because it had the song "That's What Friends Are For." I remember listening to the record, Friends, over and over again, especially this song. It was uplifting, hopeful, and heartwarming.

"Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure;
That's what friends are for.
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more;
That's what friends are for."

I believe this was the song that told me, when I was a little girl, exactly what a friend should be, and anything less wasn't truly a friend. I listened to this song right about the time when young girls realize that some friends are wishy-washy, two-face, hot/cold. Some friends acknowledge your friendship in the face of the world, while others keep your relationship in the shadows. Some suddenly betray you. Some defend you. And you would do anything for those who stand by your side, those you can trust and depend upon. You'd take their call at 3 a.m., listen to their crying and worries, tell them you'll help in any way that you can. That they are loved.

I heard this song briefly last night in my memories in the noise and chatter, then again last night before falling asleep. A reminder of friendship, what was most important and what was insignificant, jealousies to put aside, and happiness and hopefulness to encourage and witness. Friends to love.

Ani DiFranco

We've spent the evening in the bar, listening to people sing karaoke, laughing, and talking to other people. It is the first time we meet again since before the Christmas break. We're both unsure of what the other is feeling, so both of us have our walls up, trying to peer over the edge and glimpse the possibility of what might happen, what is stirring beneath the surface. After a while we decide to leave; we both have work early the next morning.

She walks with me back to the car, half in silence and half in constant chatter. We stand there awkwardly for a moment in the January cold, stuttering goodbye and a guarded hug. But my voice was caught in my throat; I wanted to say something more. She turned to walk away to her parked car a few blocks away. I tell myself I should calm down, get in the car, and go. A phone call tomorrow.

I turn on the radio, plug in the mp3 player, select Ani Difranco, and she bursts through my stereo speakers with these lyrics:

"I'm going to turn
and walk away.
You wait til I am far along,
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if I were gone.
Yes I'm going to turn
and walk away.
You can watch me go
or you can make me stay"

As I drove home that night, listening to this song, "Make Me Stay," over and over again -- an obvious message that I missed acting on -- I imagined doing exactly as Ani was singing. I'd watch her walk away, and then call out her name... See her turn and smile at me.

That was a long time ago, but each time I hear this song those two memories, one real and one conjectured, come to mind. One is who I am and the other is who I want to be. It is a song that calls out for people to admit to their emotions, act on them, don't be afraid to confess them.

I still peer over my wall more often than I want to admit.

U2

"I wanna run, I want to hide.
I wanna tear down the walls
That hold me inside.
I wanna reach out
And touch the flame,
Where the streets have no name."

There are numerous songs by U2 which move me completely from one emotion to another. I can only speculate that the first song I heard by U2 must have been "Where the Streets Have No Name." Maybe it while my sister played her The Joshua Tree cassette and I thought, "Wow, I really like that song!" Or was I watching MTV, saw the video for the song, U2 performing live and unscheduled on the roof of a liquor store in LA? It is entirely possible, because who wouldn't fall in love with a band who'd dare record a live show in a "bad" area of Los Angeles without LAPD approval? It was free music for the people. All their concerts were sold out, their popularity rising every second.

During my freshman year of college I wrote a paper on the lyrics for "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." I analyzed one of my all-time favorite songs by my all-time favorite band. It is definitely a song about searching for the spiritual, something to really put one's faith into, to believe, to find oneself able to believe.

"I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil.
It was warm in the night;
I was cold as a stone.

But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for.
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for."

And then this ideal world, this place where everyone is one, all together, joined and bonded, broken free of color.

"I believe in the Kingdom Come,
Then all the colours will bleed into one,
Bleed into one.
But yes, I'm still running."

When I was in 8th or 9th grade, around 15 or 16 years old, I became obsessed with the lyrics of U2 songs. I had borrowed my sister's tapes and had bought one or two of my own by now, so I had The Joshua Tree, Boy, War, The Unforgettable Fire, and Rattle and Hum. I even had a single, Wide Awake in America. I transcribed the lyrics by hand, listening, then pausing the tape cassette. I played the songs over and over again, working hard to get the right words, to make sense of the lyrics and discover the secret of why I treasured these songs. In the process I learned every single song completely. For my ninth grade English class, I turned in a biography on the band's musical career to Coach Thompson. I even drew the Boy album cover and included that as the paper's cover.

I finally found a way to see them in concert. I managed to snag a couple tickets for a Cleveland, Ohio, concert, but ended up selling one of the tickets when I didn't have anyone to go with me. So I rented a car, drove to Cleveland through December snow and found my hotel, a taxi service, and a ride to the concert. Many other hotel patrons were going to the concert, and I overheard after-parties, bars, clubs to go to afterwards. I found my seat, high on the left side of the stage, a complete view of the floor and performance, lights and action. The opening act was good, but I waited through it patiently. Then the lightshow began, Bono ran out on the stage, a half-oval diving into the ground floor audience. The first song was "City of Blinding Lights," a song I recently began to love. This was the setlist for the concert. Throughout the whole show, there were snippets of Beatles' songs, too. It was perfection. I was in Heaven. This day, December 10th, 2005, was marked down on my calendar forever.

I can't wait for my next U2 concert. :)

Janis Joplin

Road trips to New Orleans for St. Patrick's Day gatherings. Car full of me, my sister, my mom, and my dad. Mom's driving while Dad naps. My sister has this mixed tape and it is playing in the tape deck. The Neville Brothers, Eric Clapton, Lou Reed, Don McLean, The Byrds, and Janis Joplin. Surely there were others, but the tape has long since been M.I.A. and I cannot remember all the songs compiled on it. But this might have been the first time I heard "Me and Bobby McGee" sung by Janis Joplin.

Ever since then, whenever I was in a crooning mood I could crank up that song on my car stereo and just drive, singing at the top of lungs without a care in the world. It is on this little stage you imagine yourself singing in front of an audience, a real singer with a voice just like the one belting out of Janis. You imagine you are in harmony with her, perfect harmony. I sound just like her, you believe. And you're on cloud nine with this fantastic revelation. With an invisible audience, you can sing just like any great singer.

How about karaoke? Go to any place with a karaoke night and you'll hear someone get on stage and sing this song, sometimes terribly and sometimes wonderfully. One night I really wanted to sing some Janis, but someone else had already sung "Me and Bobby McGee" so I decided I would have to try "Piece of My Heart" instead. I got on the stage to sing it, and the song just would not come to mind. I could not hear her sing it in my head so I would know how to sing the lyrics. A friend got up there with me after a few minutes when she realized I was struggling.

I think I prefer singing to the invisible audience in my car.

Olivia Newton-John

Earlier today I recalled some of the albums given to me when I was in kindergarten or elementary school. I remembered Michael Jackson's Bad, Madonna's Like a Virgin, Whitney Houston, and Def Leppard, but I forgot Olivia Newton-John's Soul Kiss.

One weekend I was at my cousins' house in Raymond, MS. I don't remember where everyone else had disappeared. It is possible I stayed behind when others went to the grocery store to get hot chocolate, or my aunt went to pick up her youngest daughter. But I had my record with me, or maybe it was Aunt Jane's? It is possible that I discovered her album and played it loudly in her empty house, dancing, bouncing around on the long white couch. I marveled at my flexibility, dance moves that now would be interpreted as dramatic stretches and twirls. Way too young to know anything about the song's meaning, I was instead learning what movement was comfortable to me: this look over my shoulder, pretending to be seductive.

"Oh, let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, let's get into physical.
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk, let me hear your body talk."

Of course I was too young to really know what Olivia was singing about, but I had a small clue. This song would eventually be forgotten, but replaced by Grease's popular songs and duets. I just knew that Olivia portrayed herself as a seductress in her video, which meant anyone singing this song must act as a seductress. Being shy didn't allow me to pretend around others, but alone I could pretend to be mysterious, mythical, and grown-up.

Of course, now, I cannot even remember how the lyrics were sung. I'd probably laugh if I heard "Physical" on the radio. Its certainly not a song I identify with anymore, if I ever did in that fantasy world I created when I heard it. After looking at Wikipedia, I have learned so much more about the song... Or even better, watch the video that MTV often cut off at the end in the early '80s. Some countries even banned the song from playing on the radio. "Physical" was popular in 1981 and 1982, but I doubt I knew it at that time and probably stumbled across it when I was around 10 or 12.

Morrissey

First time I heard Morrissey it was during a tornado warning. Sitting cross-legged in the hallway for what seemed like two hours before we reported back to our third-period classrooms, I listened to Jordan sing "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get." Enthralled by his voice rolling out the lyrics, I assumed he was composing a song on the spot.

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

He leaned against the wall behind him, stretched his legs in front of him and stared into empty space as the melody moved forth. When he realized I was facing him, listening intently, he turned his whole torso towards me to look square into my eyes as he sang. He had a charismatic way about him, locking me into an intense admiration in spite of myself.

I am now a central part
Of your mind's landscape
Whether you care
Or do not.
Yeah, I've made up your mind.

He was exotic in the way he expressed himself, nonchalantly but masked passion in his eyes. Maybe it was the marijuana or whatever other drug he was experiencing those months. Maybe it was my sheltered self craving something wild and unleashed, carefree and indifferent to societal expectations. Maybe it was his manic-depressive rollercoaster colliding with intellectual boredom. Maybe his word-playfulness before crashing into mental blocks. Maybe it was attention given, and with-held, when I craved it.

Beware! I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges.
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can't pay.
Take the easy way
And give in.

After having memorized the lyrics Jordan had sung in the dim school hallway full of other teenagers waiting out the tornado warning, I searched the lyrics on the internet. Just a bit disappointed that they were not written by him, but not dismayed for too long before buying that CD, Vauxhal and I, in a music store in the mall. I listened to the CD nonstop for weeks afterwards, falling in love with each of the songs one by one. I loved Morrissey's voice, but I also loved the memory of someone singing the lyrics while staring deep into my eyes, making my heart creep into my throat, my heartbeat faster, my fingers twisting the corner of my shirt into a knot, all my nerves quaking with teenage angst and infatuation.